Move aside, you 2007 freaks and disasters! With the ringing in of 2008 it's officially the future. A future where I have aged and become a 30 year-old man. So what does that mean? It means that the non-sensical man-child of '07 has become obsolete and therefore vow to hone myself into a sleek and confident man of the future. Able to handle bills and mail without needing a "hard-earned break" of roasting marshmallows over the toaster so as to avoid the aforementioned work of paying bills and opening mail. A man able of washing and folding his own laundry without hiding everything except towels and socks because shirts are too difficult to fold. A man who won't cut the belt on the vaccuum because he hates the sound of it. I've convinced my girl that vaccuum cleaner belts have a life of 2 weeks. So bon voyage boy of the young millenia. Hello, Future Man 2008. Although, man-child '07 looks like a squatter, this could be tough.

Only 23 more days until that most wonderful of holidays is upon us. Now that the turkey has been picked clean and the ass-to-toilet magnet created by picking that turkey clean, well after it should have been tossed  has worn off, we can focus on Christmas.  And nothing brings back flashbacks of sweaty, "footy-pajamas" feet and the willingness to trade one's soul for a snowday school cancellation like this vintage Christmas commercial.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfhS83lGjuo&feature=related

Before you could shop online they had places called stores. Toys-R-Us was such a store but to a child it seemed more a magical land. I swore that when I grew up I would work there. What adult wouldn't? And just maybe, if I could win the giraffe king's favor, live there as well.

My best gal had to skip town for the wekend so it would seem that I'm on my own once again. For me, being home alone always means 2 things:

(1) I can get as drunk as I want and not have to hear "put your pants back on or get inside".   And number (2) I wil decorate for the next holiday, no matter how far off it is. Drunkenly. With or without pants.

A weekend without the voice of reason will probably include a Dollar Store visit and forcing the cat and dog to sumo wrestle in full sumo attire. Check back soon to see which one (if any) I accomplish.

 

Wha..what happened? The last thing I remember was waiting for Halloween to arrive and then a brilliant flash of light! Actually, I just couldn't get into it. Halloween is one of those holidays that I wish I was really into,and despite trying to celebrate it with a hockey mask on my face and candy corn stuck to my teeth, each and every year I find myself forced to fake it like a coked-out pornstar.

Or maybe I just get burned out because I build up these holidays weeks, if not months in advance. That being said, it's officially Christmas time. Well, I suppose I can wait for Thanksgiving to move it's fat ass out the way, but after that, it's all Rudolph and Jingle Bells.

And to help get us into the spirit of Thanksgiving, I've posted one of my favorite Thanksgiving classics. Enjoy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qa6AdRkDulM

In an effort to get into Halloween this year I've forced myself to tune into Sci-Fi channels 13 Days of Halloween. Huge mistake. Cheesy horror flicks are one of the key ingredients to a Halloween season but the crap that Sci-Fi is putting on the table is abominable. Seriously, one of their Sci-Fi originals in called Abominable but I think that the title refers to the production level. These movies are worse than the short lived 'Goosebumps' series developed for Saturday morning viewers. If you pay attention you will see a haunted microphone in every movie. You'll also notice that every movie seems to have an eerie Invisible scene. It's the only excuse I can muster for the way these films seem to skip from one awfully acted scene to a completely different and unrelated, awfully acted scene as if there was a Texas chainsaw massacre done to every reel. Anyway, I'll be taking another trip out to the pumpkin farm for a blog update or two.